Translate dialogue into subtitle constraints

Translate this dialogue for subtitles.

Constraints:
1. Maximum chars per line given below characters per line, two lines per subtitle.
2. Match length to speaking time. It has to be readable in the time it is on screen.
3. *Decide what to drop to fit.* Priority order: core information > emotion and tone > modifiers > repetition and filler.
4. Spoken register. Written-register subtitles snag the eye.
5. Wordplay and culture-bound expressions: do not translate literally. Find something that performs the same function, and note in brackets what the original was.
6. Keep characters distinguishable by how they speak.

Output a table: number / source / subtitle / character count / what was cut.

Then: lines where the constraint forced a real loss, so I can decide whether to adjust timing instead.